The other day, I came across a post on Facebook from one of the diabetes-focused pages I follow and they posted the question: “When did you first realize that you had diabetes forever?” I read some responses from other diabetics and/or PWD’s parents. That got me thinking: when did I realize this was a permanent thing?
I’ve had diabetes for so long now that I am not quite sure when it hit me. I have an answer if I have to answer, but it was gradual. It started a little while before when it actually hit me and my parent’s attention. I always counted myself as lucky that I was diagnosed at an early age so that I never really knew life without it. I never had that “oh, crap! Now what?!?” moment where I had to reroute my entire way of thinking. I knew this was supposed to be bad and it came with some pretty craptastic stuff such as injections and the like. But, all the like? I just did it. I never really questioned it so much as it was just something I did. I learned more and more about diabetes, but never had that angry, FML moment. I accepted it. I don’t even remember being depressed or sad. It didn’t slow me down.
And then there was the end of high school and beginning of college. Aaaahh – there it is. That brick wall that everyone at one (or more) point(s) or another sees. I can’t escape this chronic illness? The eff you say! Stop checking my blood sugar? Sure. Don’t count carbs and eat what I want? Absolutely. Run amok for years? Oh, bring it on. An HbA1c result in the double digits? I’m down.
So, my response to this Facebook query, gun to my head, would be my late teens. The realization reared its ugly head and finally pulled me under. Multiple years later, I’m still digging out of that mind set and dealing with the repercussions.
Oh, Hindsight: you are a real
When was your ah-ha moment?